Breathing Fresh Air

Love Language

2010-10-14T18:47:00.000-07:00

"Doodle, you're so pretty."

These are the words I heard my grandpa say to my nana this week.
Of course, when you first read that, you don't really think too much of it. The two have been married for 62 years, but under recent circumstances, it means everything. A few weeks ago, my nana tripped and broke her back. She was unable to move, and was bedridden in a hospital completely incapable of bathing herself, using the bathroom by herself, or walk for 2 weeks. While this is a terrible circumstance (and a bit gross quite frankly), I zeroed in on an observation that really left me wondering.

For those 2 weeks, my grandpa was miserable. His best friend, and the person he spent literally every hour of the day with was incapable of helping herself. I watched this 82 year old man, who is generally quiet, well rounded, and wise, experience a confusion that he's never had to face before. Once my nana was fully recovered, he realized what life without her was like, and said words that I'm sure he hasn't told her in years, "Doodle, you're so pretty."

Love is a huge thing.

In the Bible, it's our greatest rule. The two greatest commandments are entirely centered around love.

Matthew 22:36-39

³⁶"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'

In our earthly lives, love binds us together as humans. When we love each other, we want to be around one another. We get things done, and quarreling isn't an issue. If God is love, then we share that attribute of Him in our act of loving each other. We are created in His image, we are designed to love. So why are we so bitter***?

I rarely speak of relationships for a few reasons. For one, I'm a senior in high school. I get really excited about the fact that I have my entire life ahead of me. With that being said, my husband is not in high school. In my whole life, I've probably had one relationship that I think meant anything, and it was probably about a year and a half ago (yet again, maturity level probably not present). I've never said "I love you" before. No, not never never. I love my family, and my all time favorite best friends whole heartily, and I make sure they hear it every time I think about how much I love them. But when it comes to relationships, I'm saving that sentence. The words "I love you" are so big. They're the greatest commandment. It's the biggest kind of love you can have for someone (and mean it of course).

So what do I do?I dwell on the love my sweet sweet Savior has for me. I dwell in the love that us as humans have to bind together and help one another and our planet when either of them need a hand (recycle, anyone?). And of course, I wait. I wait for whoever deserves "I love you", and someone who can look at my unbathed, hospital self and say, "Doodle, you're so pretty."

***better yet, why did I get flipped off in traffic this morning?

Learn

2010-09-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

I love to learn. I never ever, ever want to quit learning. I love to read. I love to know what you're reading. It's all fascinating to me. While considering this fact, I figured out that's probably the reason I can't stand school so much this year. I'm learning absolutely nothing (nothing valuable, at least). Everyday, I paint. Seriously, that is all. I paint from 8:40 in the morning until 2:05 in the afternoon and occasionally stop to change the song on my iPod.

You would think one would love to wake up every morning to do what they enjoy for countless hours at a time, but to me, this is becoming all too repetitive. I never want painting shoved down my throat. Lately, you might as well squirt acrylics in my eyes and ears and watch what happens. I think it's making me dumber. I tried to do math the other day, and drooled on myself. Obviously, I need to fix something here.

So here's what I did tonight. I took this experience, and I learned from it.

First of all, I learned to praise my sweet God in Heaven that I decided on not going to art school. I contemplated what I cannot simply live without, and that's writing, and missions. I am designed to serve, fellowship, and to put it all on paper.

Secondly, I learned why the problem even existed in the first place. Our spirits were never designed to stop learning.

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
- Proverbs 24:3-4

"He who gets wisdom loves his own soul; he who cherishes understanding prospers."
-Proverbs 19:8

We're supposed to love learning. Our Creator made us that way. I want to learn what He wants to show me. I think it's time for me to sit and listen. I'll be the first to admit, I'm not so good at listening. Believe me, I'm trying. I am constantly guilty of texting while you're speaking to me, as well as waiting for what I'm going to say next instead of listening to your thoughts. It's a problem, but a problem that I'm fixing nonetheless.

So my prayer tonight is: Jesus please teach me something. I'm seeking your knowledge, and I want you to show me what you know.

I'm also more than ready to learn from the inadequate amount of people who read this silly blog. I know I don't know everything, and since I obviously have quite a lot of time on my hands until May 23rd (my graduation day, praise the Lamb. And yes, you're all invited), I'd love to get coffee with you, and hear what you have to teach.

In Joy,

Kandace

a few of my favorite things..

2010-09-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make, and it's an addiction.

What I'm about to tell you about is something I have on a near daily basis.
I make time for it, I keep it to myself, and sometimes I can do it at hours at a time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a professed napper. I love naps. Seriously, give me 5 minutes with the Food Network channel on in the background and I'm out like an uncoordinated kickball player.
Why such an obsession? Well, for a few reasons: for one, I'm an early bird, and no one else under the age of 1,000 is, therefore, I sleep less in order to have a social life with all the rest of you night owls (shame on you for making me adjust- kidding, I don't know what I'd do without you guys). Secondly, procrastinating is one of my favorite past times. I've done it ever since I can remember. I'm sure my mother birthed me past my due date because I simply decided to kick it in a uterus instead of being born on this Earth (my apologies for making you all read the word uterus, it made me uncomfortable too).

However, I have another reason for napping, and that's because I've learned to value the importance of rest. I'm no scientist, but I've worked enough hours at a gym desk to read enough Health magazines to know that sleep is nearly magical. Sleeping fixes your muscles, it allows your skin rest, and quite frankly, it makes us all a little less pissed off.

A friend of my family said one time that sleep is a declaration of faith. As we close our tired little eyes, we're putting our lives in God's hands believing that we're going to wake up in a few short hours in order to go on with a new day (or meeting, or dinner, we're talking about naps here).

God wants us to sleep. He wants us to lay our heads on his chest and breathe out all our exhaustion. He rested on the 7th day, didn't he?

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved. (Psalm 127:1-2)

So here we are, sitting here with our 5 hour energy's, and espresso IV drips, wondering why on the planet we just yelled at the lady at the DMV. Don't we just need a nap? So I encourage you all to take a little delight in my sport. Take a little breather, and let your soul take a cat nap. God can use us so much more when we have a little bit of rest.

Well this is embarrassing...

2010-09-26T18:17:00.001-07:00

Here we go again everybody.

This is that same ol' same ol' post where I apologize for my lack of blogging, say that I've been busy, and promise that it'll never happen again.
blah..
blahh....
blahhh..
However, I feel as though it is necessary. Since my last post, my world has been shaken up completely. I spent weeks in Guatemala, completely submerged in my sweet Savior's unfailing love, only to comeback and learn to put on forgiveness everyday and let go of relationships that did nothing but waste my time and provide me with a bitter attitude, but that's all I can say for that matter.

So I had to make a decision, and that decision was to stop deciding.

It's comical to me that I think I know everything. When really, the Creator of the universe has it all planned out, and not only does He have it planned out, it's the perfect plan. I learn this more every day, especially since Maumelle traffic is nothing short of purgatory. Everyday, I get to spend close to an hour in my Toyota 4runner (her name's Donna, and she's a gem) just talking to Jesus. It's in those moments when we're still and quiet that He'll tell us all the news. Things this year that seemed unplanned and stupid to me, really turned out to make sense, because in reality, it's all about his good, perfect plan.

So once again, I thank God for the people placed in my life. Whether it's newly rekindled friendships or the ones who take me to the dollar movie when I thought my Saturdays were done for. I thank God for Guatemala, and the beautiful families and experiences He's showed me there. You've all been around me to help me grow, and I'm blessed to be doing life together with all of you.

Romans 3

2010-07-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

Let me start off this post by saying how incredible and amazing God is. There's something beautiful in the fact that He will never leave us or forsake us, and that's something that was brought very clear to me last night, but that story's for another day.

Romans 3 is one of those chapters I really wish I could ignore altogether. Mainly because I'm stubborn, and more specifically, I don't like being told what to do. It's here in this chapter that Paul stresses the importance of not only following God's law, but also the laws made by government officials.
To me, some laws are just flat out stupid. Let's take speed limits for example. If any of you have taken a drive down Odom in Maumelle, you understand that 35 mph is more of a speed for napping and reading the newspaper than it is for making a voyage home. My solution to this problem is changing these speed limits to Kandace Parker limits, and Kandace Parker limits are 50 mph**.

**Notice: I will more than likely get yelled at by my criminal justice majoring parents for admitting to such conduct.

"Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God's sight by observing the law; rather, through, the law we become conscious of our sin."
Romans 3:20

So laws are important, they're something for our conscience to chew on. God delights in those who can handle obedience. Whether it be from Him, or the round, obnoxious lady cops that tell my dad what time I'm driving home on Saturday nights. I guess it's time for me to listen more to what I'm told, and maybe slow down in neighborhoods. Maybe.

Romans 2

2010-06-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

"Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one."
Romans 2: 1 (the Message)

Have you ever been casually reading the Bible, and then suddenly had the feeling that God has just hit you in the face with a frying pan? Well everyone, that just happened. Look at me, you might as well call me Critical Kandace today (alliteration, oh la la!) . I have days sometimes where I have the mentality of an American Idol judge, and it's audition week, and everyone sucks. However, this will obviously get me nowhere. I'm only making myself accessible to more judgment, and not by people, by God. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be judged by a high school senior any day than by the creator of the universe.

My solution is a new daily prayer. I'll be honest, I get nervous asking God for certain attributes that I know I need. For example, "Dear God, please give me patience." Suddenly, the next day turns into lolly-gag world, and you're the only person in a hurry. However, I'm willing to give this one a try. My new prayer today is, "God, please help me to see people the way you see them. When I see others, help me to see the love and compassion you feel for them, rather than worldly, unnecessary judgements."

This next verse in chapter 2 is one that I love. It's so simple, yet it really means a lot to me.

"For God does not show favoritism."
Romans 2:11 (NIV)

So simple! So easy! A six word verse that allows me to take a huge, deep breath and relax. The fact that God doesn't show favoritism has always been a hard concept for me to grasp. Maybe it's because I've been know to show favoritism (especially in coffee brands :)). I'm not sure why I can't get a hold of it, but the fact that it's there makes me smile. God loves the man sitting in prison just as much as he loves the world renown pastor. The Father in Heaven that created us all thinks we're all something special. He gave all of us talents and abilities to do his will, whether we've figured them out or not. So how can we even consider judging one another? We're all the same.

So my prayer today is that we see each other through the eyes of our beautiful Creator, because he sees our greatness.

Romans 1

2010-06-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Paul is such a cool guy.

I mean, this guy really gets it. Not only does he boast one of the most epic turn-your-life-around stories, but he can also write a letter like no other.
I think that's why I love the back end of the New Testament. These books are letters, and I'm a nosy girl. I love reading letters, letters to other people, letters I find in lockers. Seriously, write me a letter. I'll read it, and keep it until you're digging through my keepsake boxes when I'm 90.

Anyway, back to chapter 1.
For the sake of time, I've pulled out 2 verses I like a lot. Of course there's more, a lot more. 32 to be exact, but these are the chosen ones to receive a good highlighting from this handy dandy sharpie highlighter.

"God's way of putting people right shows up in the acts of faith, confirming what Scripture has said all along: 'The person in right standing before God by trusting him really lives.'"
Romans 1:17 (the Message :))

I guess scriptures centered around faith have just really stuck out to me lately. I have a future to plan, and it's weird. However, instead of suffocating myself with what if's, I just stopped worrying about it. We're all born with that child-like faith, but somewhere along the road it gets tucked away in a box and placed in the dusty garage part of our hearts.

"They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen."
Romans 1:25 (NIV)

I love this scripture in chapter 1. It made me kind of giggle actually. Of course it's a sad truth that these people have fallen for worldly things. These people obviously need to get their act together. The funny thing about it though, is that Paul is so sassy about it. I'm a huge believer in sarcasm, which is the exact reason I'd love to hang out with Paul for a day. ".. Worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised." He knows their logic doesn't make sense, because they'd rather worship what they made instead of what made them.

I plan on diving into Romans chapter 2 later on today. Sundays are filled with Sunday busyness, so my apologies for not posting this earlier. Today I will praise the one who created me, and put my faith for today and my future in his hands.

Romans

2010-06-25T06:17:00.000-07:00

In order to avoid blog counter productivity, or redundancy, I came up with a novel idea while falling asleep last night.

A Series!
Yes, a blog series, and yes it will be biblical. I make it a personal goal to read my Bible on a daily basis. However, like any other human being, it can sometimes be set aside, over slept, or become Plan Z on my list of things to do. So consider this blog my accountability. For the rest of you, I simply hope for this to become a penny for your thoughts. I don't want to get too intricate here. I'd love to say this blog will be profound, and dowsed with holy water, but all I'm looking for is to give a little insight, and to learn a little more on my own.

Here we go.

Romans!

The book of Romans consist of 16 chapters. Therefore, my goal is to study 16 chapters in 16 days. I already told you this wasn't going to be too intricate. When studying the Bible, most people take it scripture by scripture, chewing on every last piece of juicy meat off the buffalo wing of Biblical reading.
I can do that on my own time, and will probably encourage you to do that as well. For blogging purposes, however, chapter overviews will become my style.

Tomorrow will be day 1 of 16. I'd love to start today, but I've rambled enough already, and I'd prefer for you all to read it from the get go, rather than to begin with my reasoning.

So let's read the Bible together. Comments, and words of insight are encouraged, however, I don't mind if you keep quiet either. Let this be about our beautiful Creator, and not about blog popularity.

Big, Big, Big

2010-06-24T09:34:00.001-07:00

Shown below is a photo of my current location:

Everyone, I'm so happy, and I don't think it's just because I quit drinking soda. I'm sure it's a number of things. I mean it is summer, some of my crucial daily decisions consist of whether I want honey bunches of oats or frosted mini wheat's for breakfast. However, it is in this stress free environment, and this peace that surpasses all understanding that I came to a conclusion this morning.

I'm getting big.
No, not taller, and not fat or fluffier (Lord knows I have the permanent body shape of a scrawny 8 year old boy on a Huffy bicycle), just older. The past few weeks have been the most mature weeks I've ever had. I think my brain caught on to something, and I'm just now examining what it caught on to. The crazy thing about it though, is that it didn't catch on to anything. My brain, literally quit thinking, because it finally understood that there's something bigger than myself that knows everything. Once I finally let God lead my decisions, I grew up.

Why is it so hard for us to grasp God's love? He's not going to hurt us, He has really really good ideas, crafty ideas. He knows our best interest. We learned this when we made our arms look like giant O's and sang "He's got the whole world in His hands." This elementary idea has turned into a class centered around AP Calculus (you guys, I've been there, there's no way to grasp Calculus, it is sin, so just don't even dip your feet into the water of said subject).

So here I am, sitting on my back porch with yogurt and granola, and an Eco-friendly water bottle, and I'm happy. My decisions are already decided. So I sit still, and bask in the knowledge that I am blessed because my Savior delights in me, and I love His good, and faithful ideas.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2010-05-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm...

To all of you who delight in reading this silly piece of literature, I'll let you in on a little something.

Today the high was 90 degrees. I wore a sad excuse for shoes, and the loudest pair of shorts I own. All of these factors make up my element. Ladies and gentlemen, it is summer. Or as I like to call it: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I was born for hot weather, and blue coconut cream slushies.

While all of these things are wonderful, I find this summer very crucial. It will involve lots of prayer and fasting, as well as film internships, portfolio making, and a few loud yells of, "Sweet Lord, let me into art school!" (Not to mention a trip to Guatemala thrown in there... I'm so giddy :))

As I celebrate and dance my way out of this long, long, long school year. I give you all something pretty to look at, a bit of my junior year portfolio:

Quiet

2010-05-17T18:07:00.000-07:00

First of all, let my start of by giving my deepest apologies for my lack of blogging. Time is slipping through my hands these days, and now I am faced with the end of the year finals, and have no idea how I got here. Up until about 2 weeks ago, my life was loud. Very, very loud. Which is kind of what inspired me to write about how it all got quiet (with a little motivation of course)

A little insight on myself, that the majority of you all know, is that I am a natural born people pleaser. Your satisfaction is almost always guaranteed with me, because I hate saying no to someone who needs a favor (car rides, babysits, clothes lending, etc.) However, this is not realistic one bit. In fact, it's rather exhausting. So when my family left on vacation and left me to house sit, I heard something I had not heard in what seems like forever.. nothing.

With quietness comes clarity, and with clarity becomes real, coherent thoughts. While spending time alone with my thoughts, (and my Bible and journal of course) along with a few rounds of celebrity, and cups of fresh coffee, I learned something pretty great over that week: The people God places in your life is one of the greatest presents you will ever receive (and it's not even Christmas).

I absolutely adore my family, and my church family and friends couldn't mean more to me. I thank God everyday for the encouraging text messages I wake up to in the morning, the coffee dates I have, and the unhealthy amounts of hours I spend watching Lost and Disney Pixar movies.

Along with that innuendo, I realized the importance of sitting down. Just sitting, sitting in silence. It is there where God can reach you. Allowing his peace that surpasses all understanding to absorb you, is one of the most important things you can do I believe. Even if it's only for 1o minutes.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I hope everyone of you take the time and bask in a little silence and sunlight (after all, it is the prettiest time of the year.)
Hopefully you'll be hearing more from me :)

Kandace

Comfort

2010-01-29T03:57:00.000-08:00

As of where I am at this very second, I am comfortable. It's 5:57 a.m. on a wintry Friday morning. I'm sitting by my roaring gas powered fire with a warm cup of coffee. My happiness is completely undeniable. I normally do this every morning (not in this particular setting of course.)
I wake up early.
I enjoy the quiet. I wake up and absorb the silence that I don't always receive during the day. In a world that gets consistently more chaotic and noisy on a day-to-day basis, this quiet is special to me. I look forward to it. It's normally just a short 30 minutes, or perhaps longer on special occasions (no school today! :) but the time adds up. My thoughts are pieces of a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, and this is my half-hour to piece it together. Psalms 46:10 says to "Be still and know that I am God." This time has not only become my hour of undisturbed peace, but also an hour to spend with my sweet Jesus whose favorite tone of voice is a gentle whisper. Isn't there a simple lesson in that? Are the quality of our daily conversations losing their beautiful purpose with the louder our voices get? I've been progressively learning how unimportant shallow daily conversations are becoming. Sure, I know what my best friend ate for lunch today, but do I stop and ask what made her the happiest? Not always, and my goal for the next few weeks is to practice this idea. To dip below the surface, even just for a little while (not consistently of course, that might be intruding and weird to the general population)

On a more ridiculous note,
this is my 10th day of being completely vegan. I've made it thus far! And thus animal product free :) it's all about my 2010 cleansing. Like I said in my previous post, it's important to me to begin this decade with a cleanse. What better way than to lessen my processed, unclean, mass produced in take?

May you all feel comfortable on this wonderful Snow Day,

-K

Welcome!

2010-01-03T07:20:00.000-08:00

Congratulations everyone! It's a new decade! You've made it thus far! May the new beginnings welcome you with wide open arms. It's January 3rd, and it's taken me up until today to really consider this year, as well as this decade. In a deeper sense that is. Of course I've discussed the new decade around friends, making caddy comments, and considering resolutions and what nots. But to think about a brand new decade in depth scares me a little bit. The question, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" truly becomes a reality.

So where do I see myself in 10 years? Better yet, where do I see myself next year? This fall, I accept college, next fall, I accept complete independence. Part of me is giddy with excitement, and the other part is worried about doing my own laundry. But within all this thinking, there is always that still, quiet whisper that tells me there's already a plan lined out for me. So today, I release the next 10 years up to my sweet Jesus and watch as he develops a masterpiece before my very eyes.

With that in mind, I allowed myself to consider how to begin such a huge mile stone (after all, last time I had to consider the next 10 years I was 6 and my goals were to become Mandy Moore, a cheerleader, and live in my Barbie house all at one time- My how times have changed!) I decided to begin with a cleansing. Cleansing my closet, my brain, my body, and my life. I decided to take a break from what I force on myself and live in what God has already provided me. Relationships that take too much work are a thing in the past. (along with hydrogenated oils! :)) Worrying takes too much work, as well as determining my life based on my peers. So I let it go. Of course with all cleansing comes detox. You should not base the end off of the beginning. The first few days bring headaches, cravings, and a little sleepiness. However, once the "3 day hump" is conquered you feel better. You're life is easier and lighter because you are no longer carrying the unnecessary items that fill your mind and soul. So here we go 2010, cleanse me.

My new year's resolutions are to laugh often, take pictures, celebrate and to look for those opportunities on a day to day basis. Isn't that what God wants? For us to wake up and rejoice in him everyday? I resolve to wake up with a good attitude, to say good morning, and to take the time to slowly open my eyes in the morning and not feel so rushed. With rejoicing comes happiness, and with happiness comes simplicity and laughter.

So in close friends, I bring you good tidings of comfort and joy this new year and decade. I hope all of our futures intertwine and I see everyone I love wearing paper glasses that say "2020!" years from now. May this decade be one of love, friendship, and growing up.

-K

Awake

2009-11-22T20:04:00.000-08:00

If I've done anything these days, that is thinking. One could almost say I've had a case of over thinking, but I see that as negative energy. And the thinking I've come across has been nothing but positive.

Since my last post, it seems like my life has been ransacked and taken on a new form, right before my very eyes. This, however, is a good thing. I have recently rekindled an old relationship that used to be flamed with desire. No, not a physical relationship, a relationship with Jesus. Up until 2 weeks ago, my priorities have been centered around two basic things that I thought were important: 1. popularity 2. myself.

Especially in a new school, these things are the most important, right? I thought so at least, until 2 weekends ago, God took my life on a whirl-wind adventure. Before that weekend, I have now realized I've been asleep this whole time. The people I had been centering myself around were not making me happy, but rather pushing further and further into the wrong direction. I wasn't my self any more. It made me tired, and quite frankly, I didn't like those 2 months one bit.

Of course you're probably curious about this weekend I've mentioned. It just so happened to be our annual church retreat set aside in the middle-of-nowhere to be alone with Jesus for a bit. I honestly didn't plan on going on this retreat again. The chilly nights at Beaver Fortress (yes, that's what it's called) had never been comfortable for me, and dirty community showers have never been my motif. After all, everything's about me, right? Anyhow, the weekend before this weekend was my dearest friend Alyssa Fagaly's birthday party. Where I felt the love of God through true friends without them even trying to do so. The pure joy of fellowship with God's children that loved him through their actions ignited a craving inside of me that wouldn't go away. I had to go on this retreat.

It sounds terrible to say that God ruined my life that weekend, but He did. And that's ok, I asked him to. The life that I was living and the life I had all planned out were not what was really in store for me. Jesus opened my eyes to his sweet love. He awakened me. God (along with many other wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ) showed me that He can only love me as much as I let him love me. As much sin and confusion that had clouded my vision, God still saw me as the mission-minded 14 year old that I used to be. He never saw me any other way, and all He wanted was for me to let Him love me.

So what did that new truth do for me? A couple of things, actually. For one, I came home that Sunday and ended a relationship that did nothing but add confusion. I know for a fact God has not placed a soul mate in my life at the age of 16, so why try looking when you know it's not the time for that? God will let me know when I'm ready for relationships, all He's asking now is for me to seek Him, and love Him unconditionally. Once I understand that never-failing, passionate love, maybe then I (along with my Savior's help) can find that special person in my life.

I also centered myself around new friends, my Real Life family. Through this new awakening, I have learned what a real friend is, and it's not a keg party on a Friday night. A friend is a positive influence, and I have an amazing group of them now that will never cause me to stumble, but will help me move forward through life and make me giggle along the way (did I mention my friends are hilarious?)

In light of all of this, I am happy. My world has been rocked and I my shoulders feel lighter. It's amazing to me how easy it is to forget how light, and airy God's love feels. This peace that surpasses all understanding (Phillipians 4:7) is just what I need.

In Joy,

Kandace

Exclamatory

2009-09-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

First of all, apologies for never ever ever blogging. The past month or so has been quite overwhelming, and it took a parent-teacher conference day for me to be able to breathe easier and sit on my couch for a bit. I have a feeling this post will be rather scatter-brained, but I've come across many unique individuals that have driven my thinking process.

If I've learned one thing from public school. It's how big the world is. When I was at CAC, I merely came across .001% of people living and breathing around me. There is so much more to the human race that I had never seen or come into contact before, that is, until August 19th. I've met kids on school nutrition programs, because they can't afford lunch. I've come across pregnant teenage girls, and ridiculous teacher scandals. I encourage all of you to get a taste of the real world, even if it's just once in your life.

I also had a tid bit of inspiration on my car ride to school today-exclamations (hence, the title of this post). Why are we not taking advantage of the exclamation mark in our text messages and e-mails? To me, a simple (!) is an opportunity to make someone's day a little bit brighter. Example: "We should go eat." or.. "We should go eat!" As long as we're glued, and dependent on technology, we might as well put a little love and excitement back into it. I'm done being factual. Let's exclaim something today.

In Joy,

Kandace

Passion

2009-08-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the lack of blogging lately. I've been quite a busy girl. However, now that nearly 60% of my friends are back into their daily school going routines, I have had some time to either twiddle my thumbs, or blog.

I've had a lot of time to think over the past few days. Mainly due to my recent development of insomnia that allows me to clean the kitchen at 3 a.m., or lie in bed until the sun comes up. Perhaps this is a God given problem to allow me to get my thoughts in order.

I took a trip up to Memphis this week, which gave me a lot to watch and think about. Memphis is a city filled with passion. People love hard, and live to take it easy. I take interest into the lives of these people. Life for them is a day spent doing what they love. Their passion. They do what they were born to do and they love it. Although most of these souls could use a good dose of electric shock therapy. I must give them credit for the intensity that they love with. As crazy as it seems, I think every single one of us need to breathe, and have a little bit of this guy in our hearts

This man knows what he loves, and puts all he has into it. Let's have a little fake Elvis in us shall we?

In Joy,

Kandace

P.S.- This post is dedicated to Elvis Presley, who died this very week on August 16, 1977. I know now from my past week experiences to not visit Memphis during this week.

Worth While

2009-07-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

I NEVER CLAIMED TO be a philosopher.
However, I have thought a lot lately. More than usual. Probably more than I should, and I have come to a few conclusions. I also should not take all of the credit for the thinking I've done lately. A casual game of tennis with a good friend also sparked creative thinking. Now that I've rambled for a few sentences, I should probably get on with my thoughts. Am I honestly making the most of everyday? Do I wake up every morning to set out to make a difference?

Lately, I don't think so. Life, for me lately, has been a little bit self centered, and quite frankly. I don't like it one bit. To feel sorry for myself, and to do nothing about it. Is dumb. And my apologies to those who have taken notice of my selfishness.

At some point every morning, I change clothes to start my day (literally and figuratively.) In summer months, my clothing attire will consist of shorts, and normally a t-shirt (or on beautiful sunny days, a sundress.) But I'm not here to talk about clothes. I'm here to talk about things I occasionally forget to put on. From here on out, I will try my best everyday to put on Love. I won't forget to wear my patient shoes, or my kindness sweater. It's important to me, and it's important for the people I come into contact with everyday. I want to make the most of my days. Doing nothing is not an option for me, because really how much time do we all have left? If I don't make the most of today, what if tomorrow is too late?

I'm done being lazy. I'm ready to be an influence. I'm done feeling sorry for myself because I'm going to a new school this year. And I'm done with being uncomfortable with change. I have come to terms with change lately and I think from now on I'm going to like it. Because life is too short to worry about it.

If God has the whole universe in the palms of his hands, why should I worry about the things to come? He's got everything covered. I just have to go along for the ride. I'm going to a new school for a reason. I'm just not sure what it is yet. I have let go of certain relationships for a reason. Because God has something in store for me that I can't even fathom. It's his plan. And I have a feeling that his plan for me involves spending more time with him, and less time on myself (and my television screen.)

This post feels very scatter-brained to me. But like I said, I'm no philosopher. I've just got a lot on my mind. A special thanks to the sport of tennis and good friends...
.. you bring forth new ideas.

In Joy,

Kandace

Esperar

2009-07-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

Esperar = To Wait.

Sometimes, all I feel that I do is wait. Wait for school to start, wait for my break to be over, or wait for my food at the dinner table. However, I feel like it is not a waste of time. Waiting is a very important aspect of life that goes unnoticed simply because we do it everyday. If we are waiting, it means we are looking forward to something. If your day isn't going so well, wait for a good day. Waiting is so important.
I NEVER REALLY considered waiting until today. Because while we wait on things like pizza and our turns to go to the bathroom, we also wait on God's plan and what he has in store for us. This thought graced me as I was waiting to get off work.
As the Maumelle community center pool staff was finishing up our closing duties. A few of us began to talk. Mainly about the birth control we found on the top deck of the pool. The conversation continued on that subject until one of my coworkers interrupted with saying, "Well I think I'll just wait for marriage to do that." He was laughed at. The group burst into laughter and merely assumed he was joking. Ridiculous. We live in a world where this is considered a joke. Waiting on the Lord, and waiting on marriage are key aspects we must abide by. At least in my opinion. Mistakes happen as we get anxious, but it is in no way considered a joking subject.
God's plan is so big. I forget all the time that what He has in store for me is better than anything I can come up with. However, I do remember and realize that I need to wait. Patience is key when it comes to plans and situations.
So today, I encourage patience. I encourage strength. I encourage respect for those who are waiting. I encourage, encouragement.

In Joy,

Kandace

Speak

2009-07-06T21:19:00.000-07:00

WOULD YOU BELIEVE me if I told you no one has ever professed their love for me in person? It's true. Never has one male told me they love me in person. It has always been either phone, text, or facebook. This fact has lead me to believe the origin of the term "awkward." If it weren't for technology, we would say everything in person (or letter, we can't forget our fine postal system.) It has also lead me to believe that technology has given us the biggest outlet to back out of any circumstance. Nowadays, we can screen a phone call, not respond to a message, or simply make up an excuse to miss an event. Why? Because the person on the other end of technology has no idea what's really going on. I am sick of this lack of confrontation. Imyself am guilty of this crime, however I believe it's time we fix it. Imagine life if you told someone how you really felt about them right on their front door step. If they saw IN PERSON how honest you really felt wouldn't they be more compelled to agree? I think so. Awkwardness would be less intense if you had the time to talk IN PERSON.

Things were meant to be said. Even when a couple is being married a priest will say, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace." He doesn't say, "E-mail me if you have any concerns and I'll try to get back to you." God created us with mouths and arms and legs so we could communicate and reach each other. God did not make text messaging (although sometimes I believe he did, since I simply cannot live without it, it seems.) A girl cannot be swept off her feet through a computer screen, an arguement cannot be settled through an e-mailed apology. It's time to start saying things (by still living by the "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule of course.) I believe it's the way God intended it. So as an open apology, I am sorry to those I have call screened, text ignored, or unreplied to. I think I'll respond outloud next time.

In Joy,

Kandace

People

2009-07-03T21:16:00.000-07:00

Every single one of us is a person. We are human. We were fearfully and remarkably made by our Creator. If you think about, every person is beautiful. Maybe not by human standards, but the reality that every human has a pair of eyes, a nose, and a mouth, yet we all look different amazes me. God can do wonderful things.
HOWEVER, that thought is not the sole reason for this blog. As I sat here on my couch thinking about people, I thought about certain people. We were placed on this earth, and around certain people for a reason. Each person I see has the potential to influence my life (as well as me influencing theirs.) Everytime I introduce myself to someone new, I consider why. Why has God introduced me to them? What things can I accomplish if this new person and I merely sat and collaborated?
WHILE I sat and thought about people. I thought about the people I've come across that were there merely for me to let them go. Although everyone serves a purpose, sometimes that purpose is to realize what your purpose isn't. I've learned from many people what not to do when you're 16, and how to react in certain situations. I love people. I am learning. I am growing.

Man. God is good.

In joy,

Kandace

Age

2009-06-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

yet again..

Another idea has hit me. This time it was not at the breakfast island. This so called realization hit me as I was lifeguarding a ten year-old's birthday party. The birthday girl was excited. She was finally ten. Double digits. Finally. However, that wasn't the thing that struck me.
As I sat there quietly judging who "had the biggest splash," I see the birthday girl's father. He was glowing because his daughter was happy. He jumped off the diving board to make a big splash to show her friends. He was happy. I thought about this man for a long time, and realized that at some point, he was ten too. I also thought that he probably remembered a time when he had all the hair on his head, and maybe not so much on his back and chest. For tonight, and for his daughter. This dad was ten again.

People tell me all the time that time flies by. They tell me "don't blink!" because I just might miss something. There's going to be a day when I'm all grown up too. I want to be able to remember my tenth birthday party, and to make sure that my ten year old remembers theirs too. I want to be able to appreciate every moment. To understand that every second of my day is an opportunity to make a memory ( or a memory for someone else.) I don't think I'm exactly ready to grow up, but when I do, I want to remember how I took every moment to make a difference. I dream that maybe one day in life people will think about me and say that I have influenced them positively.

So tomorrow, I will spread love.

In joy,

Kandace

Epiphany

2009-06-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Epiphany. Epiphany.

A word that strangely came to my brain this morning. As I sat eating a delicious bowl of Special K red berries and vanilla yogurt, a not so profound thought came to me. I am alive. I am breathing. Today is a new day.
Every morning we all wake up as we normally do. However, no one really knows how the day will pan out. A lot of things happen in our lives that we cannot control. I'm not sure what today will bring. A flat tire? A cracked iPhone screen? Who knows. Those are the things we can't control, but we can sure control a lot.
Today I have to make a decision. Do I ask the lady in check out line how her day is going? or maybe: Should I hold the door open for this not so stable old man? I have the decision of how I'm going to treat others today, and man I hope I do it right.
As I continued this thought, yet another idea came to me. "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." I decide my attitude. MY attitude. It's all up to me. Today I will choose to rejoice. If the opportunity comes to sing and dance, you'll see me there. Because today, I am rejoicing.

Special K brings forth new ideas.

In joy,

Kandace

New Season

2009-06-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

I've never blogged before.

However, I've seen it done and have realized that maybe I have something to say to. I've switched schools, I've changed friends, and the things I thought at once were the most important aren't anymore.
Summer.
It changes everything. It's the time where life passes you by in an instant, and once you've realized 3 months have passed, you also realize you've changed a little bit. It's June, and I know I'm no longer the person I was in May. During school, I valued things. I valued money. Central Arkansas Christian became an oasis of people pleasing that wore me out on a daily basis. I'm no millionaire, but I do know how to be nice (and pretend like I know how to dance.)
Summer.
I'm letting go. My shoulders feel lighter. I am happier. I want to grow this summer. It no longer matters how much my jeans are, or where we go out to eat tonight. God's going to provide for me, He's already given me enough already. Life's no longer about me anymore, once I took my eyes off of myself, and directed my attention on my spiritual life things brightened up. I love the feeling of selflessness. I can breathe better and smiling at everyone seems to come naturally.
Summer.
It's hard for me to grasp the idea that my feet will not step on Central Arkansas Christian soil this year. I've gone to the same school since 2nd grade. Crazy. Drastic change takes my breath away, but I've never felt so good about a single decision. I'm glad to be away, I love the idea of starting out fresh. The idea of new people, teachers, and being 1 of 750 juniors feels like jumping into a pool when it's still March. I'm starting out new, and life is absolutely wonderful.

In joy,

Kandace